Shochu Whispers
by librastar
Summary: "He was that good huh?" "Nothing more than the usual." Even five seats down the counter; Sakura's tone was clearly one of self-congratulatory smugness. Kakashi froze midway. The moral of the story? Never ever take whispers over shochu seriously. The unofficial prequel to Breakfast Banter.


**Disclaimer: **As always,if I had a million dollars, the first thing I'd do is to buy out Masashi Kishimoto's franchise and immediately rewrite, repackage and rename the show as "Kakashi". But until then, I definitely don't own Naruto, or any of its characters. All descriptions, names, places and references are the copyright of the owner, and everything else is simply a figment and work of my imagination.

**Shochu Whispers**

"He was _that _good huh?"

"Nothing more than the usual." Even five seats down the counter; Sakura's tone was clearly one of self-congratulatory smugness. She raised her shochu glass to the blonde in a mock-toast.

Kakashi froze midway, the bottle of beer only inches away from his masked lips. A few drops slopped onto the bar counter as the Copy Ninja's hand twitched violently in mid-air.

Gulping down her own shot glass of amber liquid, the Yamanaka snickered, "Old Mrs. Kato was complaining that you were rather ahem, _loud_ towards the wee hours of the morning." Ino and Sakura were neighbours, except for surly, thrice-widowed Mrs. Kato, who had somehow ended up wedged in-between. Kakashi bumped into her whenever he visited his pink-haired teammate, and Kami-sama help him not a day went by where she didn't lecture him on the inherent dangers of ramen to a shinobi's digestive tract (he only ever ate the damn thing to appease Naruto anyway) and boast how one didn't need to be a Yamanaka to grow the best roses in town (Kakashi usually refrained from updating her on Mr. Ukki's withered health).

Sakura shifted delicately.

"Things were heading towards a rather _intense_ climax, you can't possibly expect me to remain silent." More giggling ensued.

A mouthful of beer sprayed from his sagging jaw, which was mostly absorbed by the mask obscuring his face. He tried to dab the soaked cloth surreptitiously, crinkling his eye innocently as the barman shot him another quizzical look.

"I just don't get what you see in him, Forehead."

Sakura let out an uncharacteristically dreamy sigh. "He's tall, brave, and hasn't got a ramen bowl where his brain should be. What else can a girl ask for? Plus, he looks good kicking ass."

As the pretty waitress came to collect his empty bottle, Kakashi nonchalantly turned the page of Jiraiya's latest masterpiece, although his fingers were shaking.

The blonde kunoichi continued sipping her drink. "So when are you going to see him again?"

A mischievous smile played on her lips, the slightly devious glint in her emerald eyes painfully reminding Kakashi that Sakura was no longer the naïve girl who'd he'd had to gently and awkwardly explain the birds and the bees to after she'd started bleeding on a mission. The little spitfire had raised hell at first, but soon perked up when she gleefully realised that she could (theoretically) now have babies with her Uchiha crush (he'd discreetly pretended to be lost in a smut-filled fantasy). He wondered if Naruto and Sasuke knew about this mysterious paramour of hers; most likely they didn't or the girls wouldn't be referring to him in the present tense.

"Well, he lasted the _whole_ of yesterday night, so I think I've had my fill of him…for now."

A sudden surge of burning jealousy shot through him (which Kakashi sternly put down to _fatherly concern_) as Ino took another swig of shochu, the gentle tinkle of her glass soon drowned out by her raucous laughter. "What about Kakashi-sensei?"

He whipped his silvery head around so fast he nearly sent Icha Icha flying to the drunken Akimichi sitting on the other side of the room.

A brief pause, then the pinkette giggled again. "He'll get over it."

Unable to control his shaking hands and burning curiosity any longer, the masked jonin stood up and made to saunter over casually to where the slightly inebriated pair was sitting. Just as he was about to dismount from the bar stool, he was distracted by a rather shrill, feminine call.

"Ino! Sakura!"

Kakashi squinted at the brunette kunoichi making her way hurriedly to them; even the two little bunches perched on top of her hair were quivering with excitement. One of Gai's students; Twotwo or Threethree or something Chinese, he remembered vaguely.

"So how was it?" Her hushed whispers were dramatic against the drone of background chatter and laughter. Kakashi felt annoyed. Clearly, Sakura's little dalliances were a little-known secret outside of Team 7.

Unfortunately, her reply was lost as his neighbour decided to let out a massive, drunken belch at that very moment, compounding his irritation; but Tenten's voice soon floated out to him.

"So would you like to borrow the remaining seasons? I think Hinata's got Episode 215 onwards."

For the second time that night, Kakashi froze in his place, but this time it was tempered with a slight degree of confusion.

"Thanks a lot for the offer, Tenten but I think I'll pass for at least a month. I've been staying up late watching at least three episodes a night, and yesterday's season climax kept me up until dawn! I can barely open my eyes during morning shifts nowadays," he heard his ex-student reply guiltily.

Kakashi felt a growing horror encapsulate him. _Masaka…_

Tenten's girlish giggle sounded. "Oh, but the finale was really good, ne?"

"So good that I couldn't stop cheering until he defeated Aizen! I felt guilty keeping my old neighbour up but Ichigo really is a wonderful sight to behold on the battlefield."

Slinking away with his tail between his legs, Kakashi slipped out of the bar and started banging his head on the nearest brick wall.

How could he have been jealous of someone who only existed in Blu-Ray box set edition?

**A/N**: Anyone recognise the anime in question? Yes, it's Bleach! So for the non-readers/watchers, Ichigo is the main character in Bleach and Aizen was one of the major antagonists for one of the earlier seasons. I don't watch the series myself but I gather most of you probably do. This was actually ripped off an alternate version of "Breakfast Banter" that I'd written; so it's a little bit of a prequel to the original.

**And a little extra scene…**

"Hey Sakura!" The pink-haired medic glanced questioningly at Ino, while Tenten continued spiritedly debating the merits of a certain Hyuuga prodigy versus the Shinigami protagonist with an unusually animated Hinata.

Snickering, her best friend whispered, "Looks like Kakashi took the bait."

Glancing at the empty stool 5 places away, Sakura gracefully slid off her seat. Throwing Ino a wink, she replied, "I'd best assure him that he's still my number one kick-ass hero before he 'Raikiri's someone," before hurrying off in search of a sure-to-be head-banging, ego-nursing Copy Ninja.

**That's really it folks, so please review if you enjoyed the read x**


End file.
